Internship scares

In the blog Back to school | My tips, I told you I was studying Social Works. In September I'll start my third year, which is an exciting yet scary time. It is scary and exciting because I'll do my internship. But at this moment, I'm more scared then excited.

First, let me tell you what kind of internship I'll be doing, and then I'll explain why I'm scared. During my 10-month internship, with one comeback day per week to school, I'll be guiding (young) adults who are slightly mentally disabled. This guiding will be in the living area. So I'll help them to learn how to live on theirselfs as much as possible. I think this is a great thing to do because now I can help bring these people closer to the rest of the world.

Now, what makes me scared is that I have this feeling that I don't know enough yet to help these people. Maybe this is because I just have so little information about what is coming to me and what will be expected from me. Of course, if I really think about it I know more and know better what to expect then I think right now and I can always send a text or email for more details.

I also have the idea that I have to do it all perfect from the beginning and have to be able to do it all at once. Which, of course isn't true and it is absolute nonsense but the idea just gives me the chills. I am afraid as well that I make huge mistakes, which might have lots of influence on one of the clients.

Something that keeps me busy, besides the first few things, is that what if the clients of a college does not like me? Then I'll feel so awkward in those places and I want to be liked so badly. That's a thing I have, I have the idea that people like me (very much) or they hate me (very much). In my head there is no in between, where people are just OK with me.

I just wanted to share my thoughts and scares for a bit. Because writing stuff like this helps me so much, because then I look at it and think about it from a different perspective. It's also a good way to look for what might give some trouble or what I have to work on in the coming year. Luckily I do already know who will be guiding me from the organisation and it's a nice guy!

On the end of this school year, I hope I can look back and think by myself: "Where you scared of those things, that absolutely wasn't necessary". Are you up to anything like this in the coming year? And how do you feel about it? Let me know on my Twitter or in my guestbook!